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Thursday, 30 September 2010

More tears and the reason why!

Well I have had a horrible day today. I got into work today and burst into tears so one of my colleagues ran out to the toilets with me and gave me a cuddle.
Basically I have been really upset the last few days and I was not going to say why but feel I should talk about it and then maybe I can move on.

It was December a few years ago and just before christmas when I was walking home from work at 5pm in the evening when I was attacked in the street by a stranger. The guy ran up behind me and tried to sexually assault me luckily there was 2 guys walking down the road and he ran off. Its something I have tried to forget but lately its been coming back to me and even sitting here writing this I can still hear his footsteps running behind me, it makes me shiver! Then I can feel his lunge from behind.

I am always so careful now when walking in the street I am always checking behind me especially when its dark and I am bit paranoid people walking behind me.

The police were brilliant, two male police officers came and they were fabulous and I will always remember how great they were. They made me feel safe and thats why I am a strong believer that the police are the good guys and do a great job.

The thing is women always say 'oh thats ok if a guy attacks me I will just knee him in the privates and run' but I can tell you now its not that easy. For a start I am only 5ft 3in and I am not big built, this guy was taller than me and stronger a lot stronger than me.
I just froze and I tried to scream but it would not come out straight away.

I am telling this story as a warning as now the nights are drawing in please be careful.

I was offered victim support counselling at the time but never took it up and I now look back and think maybe I should have.

On a brighter note I popped into town today on my lunch hour and brought two dresses, one from Peacocks and the other was in the sale at New Look. I shall blog about these at the weekend as at the moment I don't feel up to it.

I am going to Swindon on Saturday to see a friend and go shopping.

I think I am going to have an early night tonight.

Roll on the weekend
Take care girls
xx

8 comments:

  1. Dearest Lisa-Jane,
    I was attacked in 1991 and even now cannot bear anyone walking behind me. I was walking to work very early in the morning and I froze. I was unable to scream or move and amazingly I continued on to work, did a full day and didn't say a thing until I go back home and told my then BF.
    Everyone says they'd fight back but believe me the shock renders you useless. I've since done self defence but if it ever happened again I doubt I'd remember in all the panic.
    For ages afterwards I was convinced every man was a potential attacker and it really put me off revealing clothes for a long time. It does get better though, honestly.
    Lots of love,
    Vix
    xxxx
    PS I really respect you for sharing this, loads of my friends don't know about my attack

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  2. Thank you for sharing this, what an awful thing to happen. It's a good reminder that this can happen even early in the evening. I'm always careful if I'm on my own late at night, but I rarely think twice about walking to my car after I finish work. Thank you for raising awareness of this. xx

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  3. That must have been so awful, can't even imagine what it must have been like. I travel in my car everywhere as don't feel safe walking the streets on my own, thanks for sharing this, no-one knows what it's like unless you've been through it yourself. Yay for retail therapy! xxx

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  4. That is a horrible thing to happen. I can't even begin to fathom what it must have been like.

    I was home when someone broke into my parents home and for ages after I was afraid to be home alone. So to a certain extent I know how you feel with being paranoid and getting upset.

    I hope you feel better and retail therapy should help :)

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  5. I can't even imagine how frightened you must have been.
    Massive hugs to you, and you know you can always share on here - don't let it bottle up inside.

    I can't believe how silly I was when I was younger walking home from pubs/clubs on my own, I'd never do it now, I hate walking from my car to the house on my own.

    xx

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  6. Oh Lisa, well done for posting this. You're right everyone thinks they will fight back but in reality you go into shock mode. I really hope writing it down has helped. xxx

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  7. Woah what a horrible horrible thing to happen to you!!!

    I hope that sharing it has helped ease the fear a little - I can't imagine how scary it must be .. Im just glad you were saved and are okay!!

    Sal xXx

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Love
Lisa-Jane
xx