Why is it everything is going ok you feel good about yourself for once in your life, I mean usually I never do and then someone has to say something insensitive and make you feel cr*p all over again!
I mean by my age I should be over this after all 'confidence comes with age' as they say, but sadly for me it has'nt!
Last night Mike and I went out for a meal and on the way way home we had to pop into Mike's parents as they wanted to chat to us about something. I don't often see his parents as his mother is very hard work and although she does like me she can be very insensitive, bossy and she is very old fashioned. She says things like any girl that wears a short skirt is asking to be raped!! People who say things like that infuriate me and make me angry. Anyway I am not going to get into that issue because needless to say a woman should be able to go out naked and not get raped, its men who should be able to control themselves and usually its about power anyway..!
Back to the subject Mike's neice Laura who is 18 was there, she is very much into clothes and fashion. Like a typical teenager she lacks confidence and was asking my advice on some new tops she had bought in Zara and I was advising her. Her mother is not into fashion at all and she has a rather strained relationship with her anyway. Laura kept saying she was fat, she is not fat she is a size 12 and 5ft 3in, she is just curvy on the hips if anything. I am 5ft 2in and a size 12 but with a larger chest than her and I don't consider myself fat...maybe I am????
She was complaining about her body and I was telling her she does not look fat, when Mike's mother, who like I said is very insensitive at the best of times said 'Oh well Lisa is bigger than you'? Oh great just wonderful now I feel even crappier than usual.
The funny thing is usually I feel rubbish, most days I feel I look awful but the last few days I had been feeling better. Yesterday I was in one of my local shops and I had guys in their 20's really eyeing me up....seeing as they were 20 something and I am 39 next week...I felt chuffed. Plus the guys in the van, ok so they may say that to every girl on the street but still it was a confidence boost. Plus my friends always say whenever we go out daytime or nightime I always have guys giving the me the eye.
Now I feel back to my usual 'horrible' self....thanks very much mother in law!
OK I know at 38 I should be over this and mega confident but I am just....not! I mean in my previous post I took the photo of me in the pinafore dress and I am sure I do not look fat in that dress but now I am questioning that?
Another thing that annoyed me is one of the tops did not suit Laura but Mike's mum said to me even if you think it looks awful tell her you think it looks nice! I told her the truth lol. She can be a horrible woman. I am so glad Mike is not like her and does not share her views!
The other thing is that his mother although she is very small chested she has a large tummy and is much bigger than me but I would not dream of saying things to her!
Lisa-Jane
xx
